


Distance

by Nikaya



Series: SoRiku Week 2019 [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Game: Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days, Heavy Angst, M/M, Riku Angst (Kingdom Hearts)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:40:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21722371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikaya/pseuds/Nikaya
Summary: Unseen thoughts and happenings of Riku during the events of 358/2 Days; he's struggling. |Inspired by the song "My Demons" by Starset. | Day 2 of SoRiku Week - Distance
Relationships: Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: SoRiku Week 2019 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1564684
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12





	Distance

Distance

**_Mayday! Mayday!_ **

**_The ship is slowly sinking_ **

**_They think I'm crazy but they don't know the feeling_ **

**_They're all around me,_ **

**_Circling like vultures_ **

**_They wanna break me and wash away my colors_ **

**_Wash away my colors_ **

_ Day 150 - Fear _

I slam my fist against the wall and growl, “Who  _ is _ she?”

“It does not matter.” DiZ says easily. It makes my chest tighten at his dismissiveness. “She will no longer exist once he reawakens.

“But she has to do with his memories, right? What if she’s the final piece? Damn, DiZ, it’s Kairi!”

He merely shook his head. “She’s a farce, nothing more. You need not worry yourself about it.”

“How can I not?!” I shouted. “My best friend’s mind was completely and totally screwed because of what they did to him! And now he has a Nobody and a walking memory of Kairi floating around and it doesn’t matter?!”

“I’ve told you before, everything will fall into place if you follow my instructions to the letter. I’m trying to make this right.”

“I think you’re selfish.” I spat. “I think you don’t care if his memories reform perfectly. I’m going to have to do something myself!”

“Check yourself, kid,” he said, swiveling the chair to face me.

As I heaved to catch my breath, I glanced down to see my hands shaking, tendrils of dark energy swirling around them. I sucked in some air and unclenched my fists. I breathed in… out… then tightened the band around my eyes.

I turned and walked out, the door sliding shut behind me.

* * *

  
  


_ Day 276 - Disorder _

Watching the scene unfold from the shadows as Sora’s Nobody… and that other… _ thing _ danced around each other with Zexion playing further into the game that was their confused memories -  _ Sora’s _ memories - was hard to watch. When the Nobody finally ran, Zexion laughing at his game on the way out, I ran to the girl on the ground that had physically changed form between herself, the Nobody, Sora, and even  _ myself _ . I turned her over in my arms, staring at the face of Kairi and clenched my teeth.

What the scene should have solidified was my hatred: my hatred for her, the Nobody, Organization XIII, and the mess that had caused Sora’s memories to remain aloft. But holding her in my arms, I’d realized that none of this was of her own volition. She just wanted to  _ live _ .

And I felt disgusting for having wanted to take that away from her.

* * *

  
  


**_I cannot stop this sickness taking over_ **

**_It takes control and drags me into nowhere_ **

**_I need your help, I can't fight this forever_ **

**_I know you're watching,_ **

**_I can feel you out there_ **

_ Day 297 - Contact _

“She’s gone. The Organization got her again. I gave her the choice of where to go and she chose to try to reconcile with Roxas. And I… I’m sorry.” I placed my hand on the translucent glass and gazed up at his sleeping form.

_ Sora _ .

“I don’t… I don’t understand. You gave up your memories of Kairi and your life on Destiny Islands to give her a chance? DiZ said that her interacting with Roxas did that…  _ your _ memories did that. Do you know what’s happening?”

I looked down, gritting my teeth. I thought about everything we’d gone through to get through that Castle. I clenched my fist before whirling around and pounding on the glass.

“Namine said that you’d wake up without any hope of anyone remembering you if you wake up before those memories return! Why?! Why would you let them go?! Do you understand that?! Do you not care?!”

I felt myself gasping for air again as I put a hand to my heart. I looked down, watching as the darkness faded back again.

My lip trembled as I spoke, “I’d never forget you. Is that why you didn’t care? Is that… all that mattered? That  _ I’d _ still be here?”

I put my hand on the glass and touched my forehead to the coolness of the cell’s wall. “Please… come back to me. I need - I need you to show me that there’s Light at the end of all this.”

* * *

  
  


_ Day 354 - Truth _

Almost all of the pieces were in place.

Xion agreed to find Namine.

Mickey would be there to guide Sora, Donald and Goofy when they awakened.

And I… I had one last fight to take back the final piece.

* * *

  
  


**_Take me over the walls below_ **

**_Fly forever_ **

**_Don't let me go_ **

**_I need a savior to heal my pain_ **

**_When I become my worst enemy_ **

**_The enemy_ **

_ Day 358 - Believe _

What have I done?

I stood, staring through the glass,  _ desperately _ trying to ignore my appearance.

“Sora,” I started, but had to choke back the emotion, “I don’t know if you can ever forgive me for becoming… my darkest self. I just… I need you to know that I did this for  _ you _ . It’s always been for you.”

I stopped and shook my head. I allowed myself to sob once, then I sniffed and continued. “I want you to know that… when you wake up… and you have all of your memories… I wasn’t here because I’m trying to protect you. I don’t trust myself enough to be with those I care about anymore and especially not you.”

Tears flowed down my face freely, and on this face, it would have been a sight for anyone else…  _ laughable _ , even. “I’m sorry. But… I’m going to set things right.”

It took every last ounce of strength I had to turn away from the case. I raised my hand and opened a portal.

“Maybe someday, I can hope to live up to your faith in me.”

* * *

  
  


**_Take me high and I'll sing_ **

**_Oh you make everything okay (okay, okay)_ **

**_We are one in the same_ **

**_Oh you take all of the pain away (away, away)_ **

**_Save me if I become_ **

**_My demons_ **

_ Day 359 - The First Day _

I watched from the shadows as Roxas disappeared into the Light. My breath caught as I saw the case start to unravel and Sora, at long last, fell forward and out.

He was confused but optimistic. He reunited with Goofy and Donald. His memories seemed to be intact for the most part, having not even remembered Namine.

When he said that he’d been looking for me and that it had been one of the last things he remembered, I had to walk away.

DiZ caught sight of me as I walked out but said nothing until he was behind me. “Even after all this time, Sora still does not think ill of you. You should have half a mind to realize that he still wants you in his life. He will not stop until he finds you again.”

I scoffed. “There’s a lot more he needs to be worried about than me right now.”

I waved my hand and disappeared through the portal.


End file.
